Amiss
by FreezeTheFuture
Summary: Kairi still wonders if waiting is worthwhile. Really, it was hard, after all. (Suicidal thoughts, but happy ending compared to the story. Rated T just in case) Sokai, sorta.


_A wind of memories that will never end._

**_SoKai (Sorta)_**

Kairi sat in the empty beach in the other island of Destiny Islands. It was their island, the one in which they played when they were there. Now, they weren't there, they were somewhere else, far away. Funny, they promised to be friends forever. Yeah, she was there for _her safety_, but, why? She had the keyblade with her. She was sure that they thought that the blade was a bunch of flowers instead of a blade.

Kairi felt the oceanic breeze move her hair. She sighed. Sometimes, it was better to come to the empty beach instead of hanging out with Selphie and going to her crowded parties. There was silence, but Kairi was used to it. Well, maybe not the silence, but the loneliness. She chuckled.

Her friends pitied her. Not because of the loneliness, it was because _the pain_. They knew that the cheerful teenager that she was before these years was falling apart, or that she _already had._ The memory loss of the one she once loved, her world fading in darkness, her grandmother gone... too much things to handle. She now forgot how to love, how to feel. Some people even said the she even forgot _how to smile._

She was a lost soul. She would hear Selphie saying that her best friend, Kairi, was gone, now with more frequency. She didn't know anything. Kairi felt like Selphie never knew her at all. Kairi would be a little childish, nervous, and weird.

But overall, she was strong.

Sephie never understood her feelings. Kairi didn't even bother to tell her her feelings. What's the use? She felt more lonely than ever. Her heart didn't even bother to beat. Its owner never listen to it, because she didn't have the need to consult it for advice. After all those adventures, she understood that a heart that sinks in darkness, wasn't a heart anymore. She should feel like the princess she is, not like a Heartless. So, if she is a Heartless inside, why not outside?

Kairi took out her lucky charm, and looked at it. She remembered how she tried to make it, with the Thalassa shells. It was like a smiley star. That was how she felt, like a smiley star. Now, what was she going to do with it? It was useless now. Kairi stood up.

She turned around. She saw the Paopu Tree and ran to it. Kairi touched the hard trunk and lots of memories flashed on her brain.

_'Kairi! Remember what you said before? I will always be with you too. I'll come back to you, I promise!'_

_'I know you will!'_

_'So, when are you leaving?'_

_'Tomorrow, but you know I will come back, don't you?'_

_'Yes , I do'_

_'He will be back, Kairi. He just left five minutes ago!'_

_'Yes he will! And you will be with him, again. Sooner or later, he will be here, just wait'_

**False hopes. Lies. Tears. Liars.**

Kairi growled and scratched the trunk of the tree. She knew she was _crazy_, all these years. Waiting for him to come back. He would never be back, how innocent she was. Eighteen, but still innocent. She was stupid, believing in love when he was far away. Such a childish girl like her can't be a princess. She felt like a neurotic - calm before, mad now. Kairi took a deep breath trying to calm herself down. She parted from the tree and looked at her hands. _She wasn't the same as before.  
_  
Kairi started walking home alone. When she arrived, she closed the door and went to her bedroom. She didn't cry, instead, she looked loosely at the roof. She imagined herself in a beautiful dress, but she couldn't picture herself smiling_, not anymore._ She wanted to smile, but it was impossible. Her throat was becoming dry, and her sight was getting blurry. She changed into her pijamas and instead of going to bed. She went to her closet again. She opened a secret drawer behind the closet and looked at her collection of weapons. She wanted her own death, now. But then, she realized that _she wasn't that weak._ She would wait more years. If everything would get worse, if it was possible, she would give in.

She then heard a knock in her front door. She decided to leave the visitor there. No one would annoy her in these moments. It has been 5 years of agony, and well, peace is better in her brain than suicidal thoughts. She fell asleep.

_**Outside.**_

A brunette haired and old teenager knocked on Kairi's front door, trying to get desesperate an answer. His friend put a hand in his shoulder.

"Sora, you will see her tomorrow. She might need to sleep"

"Riku, it has been five years. I wanna see the girl I love!" Riku sighed.

"Man, you know that love drives people crazy, I will hug her to death tomorrow!" said Sora smiling.

Yeah, love drives people crazy, Sora. Even your lover has been affected.

* * *

**I need to say, that I am not used to do these kind of stories, and this is rushed in, a lot. Hey, I didn't want to get anyone depressed, but my boyfriend dumped me yesterday (everyone in my class stalked me trying to hug me, LOL) so, instead of making the next chapter of my novel, _Send my wishes to New Baylon _(Sonamy) ****I expressed myself. This isn't any kind of representation of the day in which my ex dumped me, but well... This was the result! My first SoKai attempt, so don't go hard on me! R&R :3  
**

**~FreezeTheFuture.**


End file.
